Disclaimer: The characters in this story are all a product of Tenkuu No Escaflowne 1996 sunrise. Please dont sue me. I didn't make these characters and neither am I in anyway stating that I did. I am not.(cept for ms. Sunshine. That's mine.) I just...well..morphed them to my liking. Blahblahblah. This is a complete work of fiction and not to be taken all too seriously. *Warning* There are a few spoilers here, so I'm telling you now, OK?
(Enter. We see Dilandau and Van sitting in chairs opposite each other in a room with windows with poppies and flowers outside them and pictures hanging up on the wall that read, "Hang in there baby!" With a merle-like demi-human hanging from a wire. Dilandau looks around the room in disgust and begins to wonder when the hell this will all be over with. Van, on the other hand, simply sits there and waits patiently for Ms. Sunshine, the therapist, to come so that he and Dilandau can finally work out their problems. Ms. "Sunshine" enters. Van looks up. There was something strangely familiar about her, although he cant quite figure out what. She seemed...masculine. He shrugged it off.)
Ms. Sunshine: Okay, so now what do we have here?(directing at Dilandau)
Dilandau:........
Ms. S: Dilandau, I have heard that you are..(checks piece of paper)..a pyromaniac. Is this true?
Dilandau:...........
Ms. S: Dilandau, if we are to work out our problems we must communicate with each other.
Dilandau: (between gritted teeth) I dont have to tell you nuthin. (Van sits in the corner, looking dazed.)
Ms. S: No, Dilandau, you dont have to tell me anything, but why, then, are you here if you do not wish to communicate with us?
Dilandau:...You think I WANT to be here?(Ms. Sunshine eyes him warily. Van shoots a glance at Dilandau) If you think that, then you need therapy more than the boy-wonder over here,(jerks thumb towards Van)
Van: Shut up!
Dilandau: No, you shut up.
Van: You!
Dilandau: YOU.
Van: YOU!!
Dilandau: (Looks as if hes about to stop, then)...no, you.
Van: ARGGG! Dilandau! YOU--God! STOP THAT!(Stands up, looking exasperated) You see?? He always does this kind of stuff! It drives me crazy!
Dilandau: Drives you crazy..? What are you talking about? Youre the one that killed all my men, REMEMBER??
Van: Well....youre evil! Im a hero! Its what we DO!!
Ms. S: Hmmm...I see...(scribbles something on her notepad.) It seems as if you two have many disagreements.
Dilandau: Well, DUH. (Rolls eyes and sighs then looks out the window)
Ms. S: Well, Van, why dont you tell Dilandau how you feel?
Van: I hate it when he--
Ms. S: No, Van, tell Dilandau, not me. (Van realizes he is still standing and sits down, looking upset. Dilandau moves his chair around to face Van.)
Dilandau: Yes, Van, why dont you tell me?(mimicking therapists voice)
Van: I hate it when you try to kill me. (Dilandau sits there for a minute, staring) You dont have to kill people...It hurts people when you try and kill them....(Van looks as if hes about to cry)
Dilandau:(Stares at Van as if hes a complete idiot)....Oh, god, dont tell me youre gay.
Van: DILANDAU! GOD!! Excuse me, but I believe YOURE the one who always wears that stupid tiara thing!
Dilandau: HEY, SHUT UP DRACO-BOY! THE ONLY DAMN REASON I WEAR THIS STUPID TIARA IS CAUSE I CANT GET THE DAMN THING OFF!( Reaches up and tugs and pulls at the tiara on his head desperately) SEE??
Van: Gimmie a crowbar and Ill fix it for ya
Dilandau: Care to repeat that little comment of yours?(twitching)
Van: (Frightened) Ahh...hummn-no, thats ok(he draws back into his chair. Dilandau glares at him)
Ms. S: Now wait, I think we touched something there--Dilandau, why do you try to kill Van? (Dilandau looks at her with a *Are-you-serious-?* look)
Dilandau: Because I HATE him.
Ms. S: Use feeling words Dilandau, why do you hate him?
Van: (Under his breath) Because hes jealous...(Dilandau shoots Van a nasty look and Van retreats.)
Dilandau: Because hes a scrawny, good-for-nothing, idiot(glaring at Van) who KillEd alL My MEn and SCARRED MY PERFECT FACE!!(Dilandau jumps up and unsheathes his sword ready to pounce on the unsuspecting Van who is idly looking out the window when--)
Dilandau: (SMACK!) YEOOWW!!!! (Dilandau collapses back into the chair clutching his head while Van looks around trying to figure out what just happened)
Ms. S: FEELING words, Dilandau.(Sitting back in her chair.) We do not attack each other.
Dilandau: What the--? WHAT THE HELL?? YOU BITCH! YOU HIT ME ON THE HEAD WITH YOUR DAMN CLAPBOARD!!!(An insane looks spreads across his face while Ms. S straightens out her papers. Van sits there in shock for a minute, looking from Ms. S who was ever so calmly grooming herself to Dilandau who looked like he was in a very uncomfortable position with his legs dangling out of the side of the chair twisted around clutching his head with an expression that read, *Just wait until My head stops throbbing and Ill KILL YOU!!* It took Van a second, but Then--)
Van: (Laughing very hard rocking back and forth in his chair) HAHAHA! Ohmygod...(Looks at Dilandau who looked very pissed off indeed, then--) AHAHA! HAHA! Oh, god, if you could see what I see right now--HAHAHA! OH MY GOD--Ooohh..(Van starts to calm down while Dilandau squirms uncomfortably trying to get out out of the office chair while still clutching his head at the same time. He was having a large amount of difficulty with it. Ms. S sat there calmly waiting for them to finish.) Ooooookkkaaayyyyy...HAHAHA! OH..IF ONLYTHE OTHERS COULD SEE THIS--HA!! GODDAMN, WHERES MY CAMERA?! (Van begins rocking back and forth in his chair again, laughing so hard the chairs wheel crumples underneath it and it topples over, taking the laughing Van down with it.) HAHAH--AHHHH!!!! (SLAM! Van is laying on the floor with the chair on top of him. Hes desperately trying to block out Dilandaus laughter and squirm out from under the chair at the same time. It seems to be hard for him)
Dilandau: (Still in the position he was in before) HAHAHAHAHA! OH! VAN! WHERES YOUR CAMERA?! I NEED TO BORROW IT FROM YA! HAHA! (Van, laying on the floor, struggles to get up. His face begins to turn beet red.)
Van: Shut UP! Dilandau!(Dilandau continues laughing) DILANDAU! SHUT UP! IM NOT KIDDING! THIS ISNT FUNNY ANYMORE!!(He tries to lift up the chair but with no avail. He then starts to wiggle out from underneath it. Dilandau lets loose a howl of laughter) DUDE, SHUT UP AND HELP ME!
Dilandau: Oh....HAHA! No..HA! Nope, I dont think so! HAHA! (Van finally gets out from underneath the chair and tries to get up and launch at Dilandau, but his foot gets caught under the handle and falls over again.) Ooohh..AHAHAHA! Ooh! Its a Kodak moment! HAHA! (Ms. S meanwhile had been sitting there writing in her scribble pad the entire time. Van finally gets free of the chairs grip and rushed toward the hysterical Dilandau.)
Van: DILANDAU!! (He hurls himself at Dilandau but he saw him coming and moved out of the position he had been in; sending Van toppling over the chair and ramming into the wall.)
Dilandau: Ooohh...HAHAHAHAHA! OOH! WHAT A LOSER! HAHA! (Dilandau stands there next to the fallen Van pointing and laughing. Van looks up and then--WHAM!) YEAOOWWW!!! WHAT THE F#!@??!! You--!(Blinks a few times and looks up at Ms. S holding the clapboard.) YOU STUPID BITCH! WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM?? I USED WORDS! HE WAS THE ONE WHO TRIED TO ATTACK ME!!(Dilandau stood there pointing at Van) SMACK HIM!! (Ms. S looked at Dilandau pointing to the crumpled up Van who lay there on the floor laughing, to Dilandau, and back to Van. Then, she reached over and smacks Van upside the head. SMAK!)
Van: OWWCHHH! Hey--! WHAT WAS THAT FOR?
Ms. S:.....ehehe....( a crazed look begins to come over her.)
Dilandau:..Huh..? What THE--?? (Ms. S reaches up and grabs the bun at the top of her head. She then starts to pull really, really, hard.)
Van:(Standing up) Uhmm...I..uh..dont think thats good for you. (She continues to pull. She does not even whimper.) Umm..Ms. S..?? (Van takes a wary step forward)
Ms. S: ERRR!!! AGHHH!! DAMMIT! IT WONT COME OUT! (She screams)
Dilandau: Uh..I dont think its supposed to. (Van and he exchanged worried glances.)
Ms. S: NNOOO! YOU DONT UNDERSTAND! (Her voice suddenly changed to deeper, familiar voice.) IT NEEDS TO BE DOWN! I CANT TAKE IT ANYMORE!! (She was desperately tugging at the bun.) AH-HA! (She yelled as the bun came undone, exposing long, blonde, hair. Dilandau shrieked.)
Dilandau: OHMYGOD!! NO WAY...O-ONISAN??! (Dilandau took a careful step back)
Van: A-Allen??
Allen: HEHEH..Dilandau, youre not the only one with secrets...hehe....
Dilandau: (Dilandaus face went scarlet.) Errmm...Uhmm...I..guess it uh, runs in the family..? (He squeaks and faints. Van just stands there looking at Allen in disgust.)
Van: But..but you....YOURE A PLAYER! YOU..YOU CANT BE A CROSS DRESSER! DOES MILLERNA KNOW?? DID HITOMI?(Van flinches at the thought)
Allen: No..and they wont find out. ( he stands up next to the fallen Dilandau facing towards Van.) I always..you know..LIKED you, Van...(he steped over Dilandau and inched closer.) We always got along REALLY well...dont you think? (He was standing and inch away from Van now.)
Van: B-but..what aboutyou knowHitomi..? And...Chid? CHID! Allen! No! You have a son! Y-you cant be...gay! (Van saw Allen twitch at the word)
Allen: Oh, Van, that word is soo harsh...couldnt you use a different word? Please..?
Van: (Van was really uncomfortable now) Umm..I, uh...
Allen: Here, (He held up a glass of vino that appeared out of nowhere.) Have a drink. After all...this is just a dream.
Van:(Van Bolted up right in his bed. Sweat was dripping down his cheek onto his neck and down his spine) Oh...God....a dream..only a dream...( he got up and padded across the hallway to get a drink. He gulped down the water thirstily, then he walked back to his room and screamed when he saw what lay in his bed.) Allen: Oh, yes, a wonderful dream....but it was better in reality, dont you think?(Allen pulled the covers up around him and smoothed them out.) Come talk to me.
Van:.....NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!( He turned around to run out the door but rammed into the wall in stead, falling backwards onto the floor. Allen jumped up from the bed.)
Allen: Ooohh, you poor dear. Dont worry. Ill take care of you. (and with that he picked Van up and carried him into the other room.)..and well live happily ever after.
END!