Somewhere between a panda and a kitty...

"Curse your sudden but inevitable betrayal!"

Current Song: Flaming Lips - Ego Tripping at the Gates of Hell
Current Mood: Happy~

So yeah, I haven't updated in a long time! Here's a recap, there's not much mind you.

I had a reality check one day, now I'm happy! Actually, I came the realization that most of my depression was probably due to the Pill and now I've finally gotten used to the overdose of hormonal doom. I have also discovered that cleaning myself and making myself smell lovely makes me all sorts of happy, so when I'm sad I start to wash my face or mosturize or paint my nails (clear stuff to help me stop biting...didn't work today though, I chewed one of my nails, first time in about a month)

Oh yeah, I've had the worst bout of PMS ever this month too >.<>.< I'm hoping another side effect of the pill. I ended crying the other night for two hours until I threw up and that's when I finally told myself in a motherly manner that this was ridiculous and went to sleep. I cried about everything and absolutely nothing. I cried for things that were so long gone and dead that I don't even remember why they made me sad in the first place. Bad night.

I still have nasty luck in the domain of males and thus I'm still quite lonely. That'll all change though! I have a dreamcast now and that has already merited me one marriage proposal (though it was from Kevin...and er...it was for my dreamcast, not me.)

I need to make a shopping trip to Micheals to pick me up some more yarn! I want a new project! A sweater or some kyute mittens! Anything to please this idle mind of mine (school does please it and actually my brain has turned to turning itself off completely when school is in the picture)

I received my christmas present from Chris and I heart it so much that I have actually made it my new purse of purses (it also holds all my stuff nicely!).

So I just had a mad craving for chocolate and caffein and I bought diet coke with lime, jr. mints and a cream egg! The most perfect treat ever! Though the clerk at Macs terrifies me. He's constantly asking about my nationality and asking me questions about my school and my marks...then he offered to teach me Hindi. Though if I'm with Morgan, he won't really talk to me unless to make a comment on the fact that Morgan isn't paying for me or something... yeah, I just hope he's friendly and not another creepy man who's planning on asking me to marry him (I've had two very serious marriage proposals in my life already from equally old and creepy men)

Well, I'm going to get back to that homework stuff I should be doing.

Posted by Amanda at 6:39 PM

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* Tuesday, January 03, 2006 *

This year feels like the last one...

Current Song: Franz Ferdinand - This Boy
Current Mood: I have no idea...

Blah, what a stupidly unlucky year and this year greeted me with half an orange being shoved into my sleepy mouth. (That was weird, I thought it was a dream...)

So, I'm growing up I think. I know a little more about myself. I know that I can't take care of myself worth shit, thankfully I'll always have at least one person kind of watching me from the background even if they can't help. It's nice having that person, like a brother or something.

I've also learnt that I'm alot braver than I thought I was this year, it's a shame that it all went to sad causes. Oh well, I think now I'm ready for the next challenge that's thrown at me! One day I'll regain that confidence I had and I'll show the world my MANDAFIST DESTINY!

Also, I'd like to introduce the world to newest hottest DJ team in town. DJ Panditty (mwa) and DJ meFISTo (Kevin). Tomorrow we're going to hit up the arcade and play some beatmania until our eyes fall out!

I've also learned that as tolerant as I've been for like the last month, I'm totally going to snap! I actually can't wait, because I think that's when the old Amanda will come back and put an end to all this bullshit that she would NEVER put up with. At the same too, I think I might have killed her >.< I'm sort of running on empty right now... Whatever. I think I'll go with the flow~ It probably won't happen, but I really wish I could be who I used to be.

Also, I've decided that I need to get out more! Holy shit, am I ever lonely right now~ Roomie has gone AWOL yet again this time being the most mysterious of all his night time excursions, so I shouldn't be sitting around waiting like some retarded dog, I need to throw sexy parties! They'll be the envy of the town with all the pandas and chocolate~ Maybe some videogames, but that'll take away from the sex...but definitely add to the sexy...so I'll have to go with the latter of the two since I said "Sexy Party" not "Sex Party" (which are definitely for like...14 year olds in their basements, ew, gross).

Got some Kissmas swag (though it was still a little disappointing). I now own Scrubs season two and Firefly. I got a giant panda blanket. Some gift certificates. PANDAS! (Three to be exact, that's alot of panda!). Kyute Stitch plushie. Other things, too lazy to mention the rest.

What else? Hmm...general year overview I suppose. School sucked, Love Life sucked (still does!), Friends rocked, DJ Team Pandatone Gloomy rocked (still does!), Family is MIA (doesn't really...talk to me...), Style is non-existant (still is!). As you can see, the year 2005 kicked my ass in not happy ways. I hope I get a boyfriend soon, which is sad to say, but I sadly need someone really really badly...I didn't realize how much I took snuggles for granted! That and just having someone like me! I hate having to worry about my body again, too. Unfortunately I trust most boys about...not really! That's also what I'm surrounded by...boys. I can't take what guys my age say seriously anymore, they all sounds like 16 year old boys to me! It's quite sad. Kevin was right, I just need to wait until guys are in their late 20's when they start thinking with the right head.

Meh, whatever. It's not important! Sleep is important right now! I need to be at my best when I DJ it up tomorrow!

Posted by Amanda at 2:03 AM

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