Mood: Rage-filled

What is up with the freaking weather here?! Hail in July? Even for us so-called Eskimos up here in Alberta that's just crazy. Of all the times to hurl tornado warnings and flooding rains at us, it just had to come while the parental units are both gone for the week and my sister and I are left very alone and unprepared to deal with backed up drains and flooding basements -- "Shit, there's three feet of water in our basement. What should we do?" "RUN AWAY!" "WAIT, save the computers first!" -- not even considering potential whirl winds of doom that could pick our house up and fly it to Turkey. Who ever lodged that frosty stick up Mother Nature's ass needs a good healthy whooping.

Oh oh oh, and what's the deal with pulling West Edmonton Mall into the middle of the weather's big hairy tiff with mankind? Who told you you could come here all wrathy and raining down stormy winds and take our one and only tourist attraction down with you? You want to make this personal, oooh, you'll get it. All those angry Asian tourists with the video cameras that were forced to evacuate and ruin the ONLY reason they came to our otherwise worthless little Canadian city, yeah, we're rounding them up and together our guerrilla forces will kick your ass kung fu style! Ohhh, that's right. . . IT'S ASS WHOOPIN' TIME. "MORIKOROSU-----!!!"

(Actually, my handy online translator is telling me that this means: 'to poison to death; to kill by a prescription error,' but I think it would sound way cool if a warring band of angry Japanese tourists led by a flailing red-haired Canadian girl came screaming it at you.)

Hmm, all this rage is making me hungry. I'm thinking about actually moving and making myself a sandwich. This is me, sandwich bound. I'm sandwich girl. Sandwich power AWAY! *Flies off into the sunset in a blaze of glory, bologna, and cheese*

Damnit, I have nothing else to talk about, which means I have no choice but to resort to more irrelevant natterings about the most minuscule and insignificant incidents of my day. So I was at my till at work today, and all of a sudden the till directly behind me explodes with pure shimmery light sent from God and this half naked guy comes through the checkout to pay for his case of Coke. His shirtless body reveals gorgeous slighty-but-not-overly-tanned skin, hairless, and silky smooth looking. And here I am, standing at my till without anything to do and I'm very very bored and day dreaming, and I want to touch it. I want to touch the pretty man flesh~

It's prettyyy~

*Purr purr*

*Sparkle shine shimmer sparkle sparkle*

Then the guy owning the pretty sparkly-ness turns around and it's CORY FROM BELLEROSE. Bad sparkly! Bad shimmer, bad! *Goes and drowns herself in the bathtub*

Whee, I'm going to go watch the new episode of FMA now.