I HAVE RETURN-ED! *Heavenly light*

That's right, I'm back from Hawaii, hundreds of dollars poorer, badly sunburned with no tan whatsoever, and wishing that I had not decided to leave my winter jacket in the trunk of my car while it sat at the airport for the last eight days because it was fucking cold during that five minute dash through the snow to the airport parkade. Despite the minor spoils, however, it was kick-ass awesome.

Alright, so the weather was not fab through the entire week, and there was more rain than there was sun, but dear ol' mumsy and I ignored the dampness and had an awesome time anyway. In a very compressed summary, here's the fab story of Brenna and Hawaii:

SUNDAY - Upon suggestion by Coleen, I decide not to sleep at all the night before we set off, so I was awake from the time I woke up the previous morning to the wee hours of 5:30 a.m. the next day when my mom woke up. We jump on the plane two hours later and fly off to Hawaii, and I realize my dreadful mistake when I discover I'm completely unable to sleep in a noisy airport or a cramped airplane. By the time we reached the Honolulu airport, I had been awake for thirty-six hours.

MONDAY - After a refreshing nights sleep, we putter around Waikiki, walk around the beach, indulge in some minor touristy stuff.

TUESDAY - We head off to Sea Life Park for the day; took some pictures of turtles, bought an adorably cute penguin plushy, and got to swim with dolphins! ^^ Tremendous fun, I even got my picture with one of them as they pulled me along in the water. Kick. Ass.

WEDNESDAY - For New Years, me mum and I spend the day at the Polynesian Culture Center, dine on some amazing food while there, and end the night off with an awesome luau, complete with many the hot Hawaiian man walking on fire. These guys did some intense, killer stunts with fire. Totally cool. And afterwards, I got my picture taken with one of the Hawaiian, fire-taunting, grass skirt wearing, hot men named Ed, who incidentally, was also our tour guide for the day. Good times had with Cousin Ed.

THURSDAY - We indulge in some more general sight-seeing around Waikiki, including shopping at the marketplace. I get my first glimpse of the parrot-juggling man who tries to entice me to come over to him. I quickly run away.

FRIDAY - It rains. And rains. We attempts to continue with the fun by heading down to the mall, but considering everyone and their bloody dog had the same idea on account of the rain, the mall is freakishly busy and cramped and smelly, and we give up and head back. The torrential downpour actual succeeds in refining us to our hotel room, and we spend the day watching television and movies, including four hours of Punk'd.

SATURDAY - Our afternoon at Hananama Bay is wicked awesome, in which I dare the scary ocean water and go snorkeling. It's the first time in my entire life I've ever been interested in fish. (Duuuude. . .the fish are underwater. . .and so am I. . .duuuuuuude. . . *Snaps pictures with her underwater camera*) After we get back to Waikiki, we do some more shopping.

SUNDAY - We go off on a whale watching boat ride. Despite the complete lack of whales that we actually saw, it was nice and relaxing, and I get a good two hour snooze. That night, we wave a tearful goodbye to Hawaii and drag ourselves back on the plane home. (Once again, I realize I can't sleep on airplanes. . .)

MONDAY - We finally arrive home at 11:00 in the morning. At this point, it's already been past the twenty-four hour mark since I've slept. Being the idiot that I am, I tell myself that I will simply check my email and then head off for a very long nap. . . And of course, I then end up staying on the computer until midnight, at which it's then approaching the forty hour mark since I've last had any sleep. I don't think there's any proper way to describe how I look and probably smell at this time. There was most likely drool and zomby-like stumbling. In any case, I finally realized that I'm not so much as working on the computer anymore than I am staring at the ceiling and repeatedly punching the space bar over and over. I go to sleep.

Two things that struck me about Hawaii upon first glance -- firstly, the amazing amount of Japanese people there. They make up half the Hawaii population or more it seems, whether in citizens or tourists. It was cool, upon eavesdropping on several confusing Japanese conversations around me, I even recognized some words and phrases from my extremely limited anime-based vocabulary. I also found a hand-written list of items or something in the hotel room that was written in Katakana, and brought it home to translate with my handy Katakana alphabet, because that's just the sort of scary stalker that I am.

Secondly, this Hawaiian adventure has once more confirmed how much Brenna and the outdoors are non-mixy things. My feet and legs were bloody sore by the time I got home, and my pasty white skin showed no sign of tan, only scary red burns, which were still hurting even days after. I'm not a moving-about-athletic-in-the-sun person. I'm more of hobbit-like-basement-dwelling creature. It will take me about a year to recuperate from the evil natural light and physical exercise, I believe. Feel free to send in donations of chocolate to support me during my long and traumatic rehabilitation.