Alright, I had this whole wonderfully blasphemous-filled story written to accompany this blog post, but my computer crashed and before I had a chance to save it, that wonderful little piece of blasphemous fluff went down in a huge fiery ball of computer deletion with me flailing and screaming even more outrageous blasphemy as I watched helplessly.

So, in a much more compact and shortened nutshell:

Jesus is suddenly reunited with his old yaoi friend from back way in the days (named Toby.)

They frolic. (And do many dirty yaoi things which just can't be shown because some of the more defensive and bigoted people would think that it would *unenthusiastic air quote* spoil *end air quote* his good image.)

However, through a very unexpected and shocking turn of events and the resulting chain reaction involving male prostitutes, the two true-heart friends turn on each other. Du du duuuu!

They duel. *Cue fast-paced, exciting battle music in the background, which increases in tempo as the fight proceeds* (Toby decides to take a quick timeout beforehand to change his weapons of choice, because he's just that anal, and Jesus takes the chance to scrounge for something to use to defend himself, because he's been drinking a bit too much and he doesn't trust himself to not accidentally smite something he'll regret later.)

After a very long and exciting battle with many surprise twists and marveling special Matrix-like effects, Toby arises victorious by dishing out a good smoting of his rival across the barren, grassy fields.

The end, and all that. (Although it can be highly surmised that it's far from over since, you know, Jesus always comes back. . .)

So I've filled my daily blasphemous quota for the day. Angry Christians, please line up in an orderly fashion at the door on your left to fill out a complaint, and just slip it under the door.